Tip 1: Your teenager is usually one or more steps ahead of you, so do not try to be clever in opening up communication. Communicate naturally and if you have some difficult things to discuss, keep the tone of your voice neutral and serious. No-one including a teenager would not take your words seriously if you are out of control.
Tip 2: Find a common ground universitycafe and show them you understand by doing one or two small out of the ordinary things for them that will open up a more loving discussion. Its very difficult to love a teenager who is annoying you all the time; you have to control your attitude towards their behaviour as you cannot change their attitude as quickly as you can your own.
Tip 3: When your teenager says some cutting things, repeat what they have said in a light hearted way and that will diffuse the atmosphere and they will probably be surprised they said those things at all. Best to let them know you are not aware of why they are so angry towards you and get them to be open so you can discuss and try and understand what is going on. There have to be a few rules whereby each side are allowed to speak and have their say.
Tip 4: I remember my mum who was very patient with me even though I said some awful things to her. She understood completely what was going on with all the hormones rushing all over the place! She would take me shopping in London and we would have a super day out together, also taking in the theatre. She allowed me to choose the clothes I wanted – admittedly they were very conservative in comparison to today. The point was that she was always on my side
Tip 5: It is important for parents to give good examples in truth. If you say one thing and do another this does not develop good relationships no matter with whom, whether its your teenager, best friend or other family members. Always be open to communicate from your heart. Tell your teenager what their bad behaviour is doing to you. Give them good examples of what you expect from them.
Tip 6: To give teenagers a sense of responsibility and belonging, it is always good to involve them in certain decisions. Ask them what they think about your next big project, especially if it involves his favourite space in the home. Giving them a sense of responsibility gives them more confidence. Most of their bad behaviour is based on low self-esteem or lack of confidence.
Tip 7: Above all, tell your teenager that you love them no matter what, but put them in their place in love if they get out of control. Better to get to the bottom of a problem sooner rather than later so there are no bad surprises. Love develops positive outcomes whereby anger does the opposite.
“If you want to get the best out of a man, you must look for the best that is in him.” Bernard Haldane
I hope you have been able to put these tips into practice. I am a life coach who cares about each and everyone of my clients. I am willing to help you if you are willing to take the second half of your life as seriously as you did when planning your career and to do what it takes to achieve the happiness and success you so dearly deserve. After all as a budding retiree in the past you may have been forced to do things you were not happy about. Now is the chance for you to choose how you want to live the rest of your life.
I am here for you and you can learn more about me on my website